Oh sheesh...what have I gotten myself into. Not that life isn't hectic enough with work, school, kids, ex's and all that other stuff....yep, let's through another 90 study AND blog into the mix. I gotta say after this kickin day I just want to go to sleep, turn in and start anew tomorrow. But alas, I committed and I do feel deep in my heart that when you wanna slack, those are the times you gotta push through.
The scripture for this first day was 1 Samuel 16:1-7. Sanuel doens't come across as an easy going type of fellow, especially since he has the nerve to argue with God. Really dude?? If anyone should know better, it should be him. I love how Beth points out that David was the "little" brother and even though we all may not be brothers or the youngest, we have all felt that feeling. That feeling of not being good enough, of being invisable, not wanted. No matter how confident we may look to others on the outside, that "little" brother is somewhere on the inside.
Beth asks "Who are the "older brothers" you compare yourself to? Who or what have you allowed to intimidate you into believing that you're less than you really are, incapable of achieving much of any real value in God's kingdon?" Get deep girl, right on the first day, lol, gotta love Beth. The older brothers I compare myself to.....everyone, everyone around me. I feel that need to keep striving and pushing myself further and further because I could be a better mother, student, employee, friend, girlfriend, person.....better everything cause I'm soooooo far......sooo far from being perfect. No, I don't believe I or anyone can be perfect, but I do believe I should be better.
The second part of that question is simple.....the person I have allowed to intimidate me...is myself. I am my worse critic. Self doubt is what keeps me from achieving the work in my Lord's kingdom. Blame it on those voices from years ago, but they still whisper way back in my mind. And I'm the one that listens.
God taught an important lesson to Samuel, "Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" verse 7. How can I not look away from the fact that my heart is trampled, broken, scarred...emotionally and yes physically. Scars from cuts and wounds...from a surgeons scaple and from betrayal. But even that is not the heart of which He speaks. God looks even further inward, pass the tissue and muscle.....pass the experiences that cause heartache.....all the way to the inner soul. THAT is where He sees us, our strength and our beauty.
David was the youngest....scrawny, red faced and ewwww smelling of sheep. Not exactly what Samuel saw as king material. Yet the Lord said he was. God saw something in that young boys heart that was more powerful and amazing than all those around him. Looking from the outside David was the littlest brother......but from the inside, he was a king. Ha.....would have LOVED to have seen the faces on his bigger, older brothers, lol.
LC
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